But again, afterward I felt ashamed and embarrassed. This time I was mad at myself, too, because I had already said that I would never do it again. I could not understand why I had given in so easily. All I knew was that as soon as I got there this time, my dick got hard just at the thought of what had happened the previous time, and then I started to rationalize that I’d already done it once, so what did it matter if I did it one more time? The next thing I know we’re going at it. It was all very confusing. The worst thing was that the same rationalization kept working. It was like, I had already broken the seal by committing the act, so what difference did it make if I did it again? Was two times worse than one time? Not in my mind – at least not when my dick was hard and we were alone. After the third or fourth time we dropped all pretenses that we were planning to do anything else. We’d have a beer, split a joint, and then open our pants and grab each other’s dicks. After we’d both shot our load, we’d zip up our pants, light another joint, and pretend nothing had happened. I don’t remember exactly how long we stayed with this routine, but one day something weird came over me and I decided that I wanted to touch my lips to his dick while I was jerking him off. Of course, it did not stop there – I ended up sucking his dick. I remember being surprised when he came in my mouth because I’d only made about two passes up and down his shaft.
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